


I’m Here

by screamingatstars



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Character Study, Comfort, F/F, Literal Sleeping Together, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:09:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24324076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingatstars/pseuds/screamingatstars
Summary: Catra has nightmares whenever she sleeps alone. A look into the past and how Catra coped, and her and Adora’s present together.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 172





	I’m Here

**Author's Note:**

> I love the headcanon that Catra has trouble sleeping alone since she’s used to sharing Adora's bed back with the Horde, so I wrote this.

Catra always had nightmares when she slept alone. All her life, ever since she could remember, if there wasn’t anyone else in the same bed as her, she’d wake up halfway through the night, screaming or crying or drenched in sweat, still feeling trapped in whatever terrors had seized control of her mind. For whatever reason, despite her loner tendencies, she needed the presence of another person to get her through each night. 

The Horde had not been kind to her in tolerating her nightmares. As a small child, she had received some leniency, but the older she got the worse Shadow Weaver’s threats became. Finally, in desperation one night, Catra had curled up at the foot of Adora’s bed instead of climbing up into her own. The next morning, for the first time in years, Catra woke up in silence, her heartbeat steady and her thoughts calm.

What she had planned on being a one-time last resort instead became the new normal for both of them. Adora didn’t mind her presence at all- in fact, she seemed to welcome it- and Catra quickly found that she vastly preferred occasionally having to shove her friend’s kicking feet away to being plagued by terrible creatures and menacing words. Not to mention, it made sleepovers all the easier when one of them didn’t have to climb up to the top bunk after hours of sleepy whispering.

After years and years of sleeping in that way, huddled at the end of Adora’s bed and falling asleep to the sound of her steady breathing, Catra started to forget that there had ever been anything different. It was just the way things were: Catra and Adora shared the same bed, and that was that. Even when Adora tossed and turned like she was fighting an entire battle in her sleep, even when Catra got knocked off the bed or kicked in the stomach by mistake, she never once thought about going back to the empty top bunk. 

So when Adora left the Horde, and by extension, Catra? That night was a punch in the face.

She caught herself waiting for Adora to come through the door, as if they were planning one of their usual sleepover nights. When she finally curled in on herself, closed her eyes, and tried to rest, she found that sleep wouldn’t come. The bed felt far too big; the room far too small. The blanket she lay on was cold without Adora’s body underneath, warming it. No matter how she adjusted her position, there was always some limb that slowly went numb or some bit of hair caught on something. Everything was wrong. She needed her sleep, but mostly she needed  _ Adora. _

When the silent tears started to flow, Catra clenched her fists and didn’t bother wiping them away. 

——-

Alone in her bed aboard the ancient First Ones ship, the memories of Horde Prime’s vat of green and his insidious presence in her mind haunted her even as she slept. Whispering mantras of  _ little sister  _ and  _ come into the light _ echoed in her ears, chasing her through shadowed halls and dragging her down into pits of static.

Once she awoke from the horrors, she couldn’t quiet them no matter what she did. Covering her ears only made the voices louder. Closing her eyes made the images more vivid. She resigned herself to the fact that sleep was no longer an option; she would deal with it.

The only peace she had was when Adora was there, holding her hands and smiling that soft smile at her. Even when she was searching through the hive mind, and she was insecure and scared beyond what she had thought possible, the steady comfort of Adora’s presence was enough to ground her.

And when Adora held her, arms strong and safe, promising to bring her home, Catra wondered how she had ever managed to live without her.

——

Back on Etheria, in an intimidatingly large bedroom in Brightmoon’s castle, Catra stared at some kind of pink, fluffy monstrosity that couldn’t possibly be a bed. It was round, for one, and when she leaned her hand on the surface it gave, nearly toppling her into the squishy trap. At least, she was pretty sure it was a trap. After all, beds were flat, and beds were stiff. That was how it worked.

She gave up on whatever that thing was and situated herself on the floor, but it felt like only minutes later when she found herself staring blankly at the ceiling. Between the defeat of Horde Prime and everything that had happened between her and Adora in the Heart of Etheria, it had been arguably the longest day of her life. Yet, she wasn’t even the slightest bit tired. She felt alert and on edge, every muscle tensed and ready to fight at the slightest provocation. Her pulse wouldn’t stop racing; her thought circulating between the past behind her and the future ahead of her.

In a week, she would be going to space again. Sparkles, Arrow Boy, and Adora would be going with her, on a mission to bring magic back to the rest of the universe ravaged by Prime. They had been discussing bringing Entrapta, too, to help keep the ship- Darla, was it?- up and running. But if Entrapta came, it was a sure thing that Hordak would have to come, also. The two of them were all but joined at the hip now, and Catra hadn’t seen them apart the whole day. Hordak’s presence might make the trip… interesting, in a bad way, considering the history between herself and him. It was still undecided.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Catra ground the heels of her hands into her eyes. Why couldn’t she just relax? If she didn’t sleep, she’d end up crashing at some point the next day. And she didn’t want to think about how utterly mortifying that would be. On the other hand, though, maybe that would be preferable to waking up the entire castle with her screams when she inevitably had a nightmare.

Right then, she heard the door creak open, and she froze. 

“Catra?”

Her heart skipped a beat. She’d recognize that voice anywhere. Sitting up, Catra met Adora’s eyes.

“Hey, Adora,” she said. “What are you doing in here?”

Adora smiled softly, stepping into the room and shutting the door quietly behind her. Her hair was down, hanging loose and messy.

“I wanted to check on you. Having trouble sleeping?” Her expression was open, endearing; Catra felt her cheeks flush.

“No, I was- I mean- ugh.” Between Adora’s distractingly cute face and Catra’s years-long habit of denying everything she was feeling, owning up to something like this was way harder than it needed to be. “Yeah. Can’t sleep.”

Adora looked between Catra and the empty bed, understanding dawning on her face. She walked over and joined her on the floor, laying down by Catra’s side. 

“I had a hard time with the bed my first time here, too,” she said. “I mean, it’s a pretty big difference from what either of us was used to.”

“Exactly!” Catra gestured meaninglessly at the ceiling. “How am I supposed to breathe in that thing? It’s like a death trap. Makes me think Sparkles might secretly still hate me.” 

She had said the last part as a joke, and Adora giggled, covering her mouth with her hand to try and muffle the sound. Catra was able to turn her head and catch a glimpse of her face, eyes crinkled happily and grin stretching her cheeks. 

How could Catra  _ not  _ fall in love with her, after growing up seeing that face, hearing that giggle every day?

Once she stopped laughing, Adora slipped her hand into Catra’s. 

“If you want, you can come sleep in my room for tonight. I’ve got a normal bed in there,” she offered. “I’ll bet it’s way more comfortable than the floor.”

“Really?” Catra sat up, and Adora did the same. “Are you sure you… want me to be in there? You don’t mind?”

Adora brought their joined hands to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to Catra’s knuckles. “Of course I don’t mind. I remember how you used to have nightmares by yourself.” 

If Catra had been blushing before, she was sure that now her face was completely red. Her flustered state didn’t go unnoticed, and Adora smirked at her playfully. 

“Hey, don’t look at me like that!” Catra protested, yanking her hand away and crossing her arms. Adora laughed, seeing right through her.

“I’m sorry, you’re just so cute when you’re all embarrassed!” 

“No, I am not!”

“But you are!” Adora was making  _ that  _ face again as she kept laughing, not even trying to be quiet anymore, and Catra caved. She had never known how to handle her when she was this beautiful, messy hair or no, and now was no exception. 

They ended up going back to Adora’s room, walking hand in hand, like they had all the time as kids. Sure enough, the bed there was much more normal, actually looking like a bed instead of a giant pink blob. It was a bit small to fit the two of them, though, and when Adora lifted the edge of the blanket invitingly, Catra hesitated. Yes, they had kissed at the Heart- her heart sped up just thinking about it- and they had admitted they loved each other, and they had slept in the same bed for years, but somehow this felt different. Maybe because it really was different. More intimate. And what if she still had a nightmare, even with Adora there? What if, after all this time alone, she really was broken?

“Catra?”

Adora looked concerned, like she knew exactly what was running through her head. She held out a hand, and Catra took it without thinking, remembering every time Adora had reached out and she had turned away. 

Slowly, gently, so she could pull away if she really wanted to, Adora tugged her down so she was sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered, blue eyes pleading. The last of Catra’s doubts vanished. Cautiously, she laid herself down on her side, facing Adora.

“Promise you won’t leave?” She asked, feeling incredibly vulnerable as she spoke but needing the reassurance. 

“I’m here, Catra,” Adora murmured. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

That night, Catra fell asleep in Adora’s arms, surrounded by safety and warmth and love. Her dreams were quiet, bathed in soft colors and soothing light. The nightmares that had owned her sleeping mind for so long were nowhere to be found.

And even though she ended up with an elbow to the stomach and a kick in the shins from Adora’s sleep fighting, it was still the most peaceful night’s rest she had ever had.


End file.
